After reading this article, My Sister, My Surrogate, I’m kind of pissed I don’t have a sister (thanks, mom and dad). The article is about a woman, who, like me, got breast cancer at 26 and, like me, froze embryos at the time. But because her cancer was estrogen-positive, her doctors advised her not to get pregnant. That’s when her awesome sister stepped up and said, “Put your babies in my belly!” What a good sister.
While I’m not ready for them just yet, the subject of babies has been causing me some consternation. Having BRCA sucks, so on one hand I am extremely against passing on my own seed lest my daughter or other future female descendant be blessed with the lucky fate I have been blessed with. But when I think about adoption and donated eggs and other alternate ways of having children, I get sad that I might have children who don’t possess the genes that make the Scharf/Tator family so wonderful. Our quirky senses of humor (yeah, Zooey Deschanel, we were quirky before it was cool), our smarts, our big ears, our singing voices, etc.
At this point, I’m leaning very heavily toward the first hand – not passing on my genes. I see procreating as letting the gene win, whereas if I adopt or use a donated egg, this BRCA gene stops with me. No more. Zip. Zilch. Nada.
But I’m still debating. I’d be interested to hear from other readers with BRCA who are pre-childbearing – is passing the gene on something that bothers you?