I was under the impression that my older brother had scheduled a BRCA test. But the other day in my dad’s kitchen, I asked if he had it done, and he said no. And that was it. So i’ve been thinking a lot lately about how that’s made me feel.
It’s been well over a year since I got tested for BRCA, yet I’m still the only person in my family that’s had the test. I only have brothers, so I guess to them it’s not as urgent to know their risk. But the brother I spoke with in my dad’s kitchen has two children, one of which is a girl, and I would think that he and his wife (who is in women’s health) would want to know.
My dad has been great throughout this whole process – providing support and researching with me and keeping up on all the news – but I haven’t gotten any of that from my brothers. And I feel as though I have such a large external BRCA network with FORCE and all the blogs I read, but my internal network of family who can relate to what I’m going through is a bit lacking.
On one hand I don’t feel any overwhelming urge to talk about it to my brothers. We’ve never really talked about my mom dying and how that’s affected us, and we aren’t close enough in age to consider ourselves good friends (my oldest brother is 12 years older than me, my middle brother 10). But on the other hand I’m a little ticked off that they’re not eager to participate with me, knowing that we all went through the same experience of losing a mom to breast cancer, and it is something that could potentially affect all of us.
I’m not sure what to do. Most likely I’ll just keep quiet about it. But I’m wondering, since most of what I read is about sister/sister relationships, if anyone has any thoughts on the brother/sister BRCA relationship?